21 Sep Pelvic floor muscles, abdominal muscles and sex after pregnancy
What do pelvic floor muscles, abdominal muscles and the condition of your middle body have to do with satisfying sex life? If the muscles of your middle body aren’t in good enough condition and your body doesn’t feel your own, it affects the image we have of ourselves a lot. If we feel like somebody else in our own bodies, it will be naturally affecting how sexual we perceive ourselves and how we feel about the touch of someone else.
The condition of pelvic floor muscles and abdominal muscles affects sex life in a lot of ways. If your innervation has been affected by for example a surgery, scar tissue or some other damage, your sense of feeling might be different from normal. If you can’t have a proper control over your pelvic floor or if it’s continuously tensed, it can also affect how and what you feel. You could compare a tensed pelvic floor with numbness in limbs. If you lie on your arm so that it goes numb, it becomes very difficult to control.
Changing sexual desire
Hormones are very present during pregnancy and after giving birth although everyone will experience this differently. Some of us feel themselves all fresh and nice during pregnancy, but there is also a lot of women who don’t really enjoy pregnancy and therefore sex is not necessarily the first thing on their mind. If this is the case, you should try to find pleasure in things that bring you positive energy and make you feel good. This will increase a positive feeling of yourself and even sex won’t be a fully outruled option anymore. Physical nearness even without sex can make you feel good. Therefore one thing doesn’t need to lead to another.
After giving birth a lot of women are nervous about sex. It can even feel like the first time again. Your body has changed as well as the way you see it. I’ve heard this situation being described through following words: when your privates has been “blown up” once, it’s very hard to imagine how sex feels like, or does it even feel like anything? Does it hurt? Being able to talk about this and your fears with your partner can make this situation easier. Most of the times only this makes you more relaxed. If your muscles are very tensed, it can be very difficult to feel pleasure. Most of the women can get an orgasm only when they’re fully relaxed.
Give yourself time and be gracious
Finding relaxed moments in a family life with a baby or young children can be very challenging. When the sex has to be scheduled and spontaneity is gone, can enjoying be hard too. You have to be gracious and honest to your new life situation, yourself and your partner. It is very important to arrange those tiny moments together because a relationship doesn’t work very well with no effort.
Extra trouble can be caused by the very different needs of a woman and a man while living the family life with small children. It’s very likely that a woman holds a baby on her breasts/in her lap/on her skin a lot, therefore she might feel like she needs some time for herself alone. A man, who possibly goes to work and gets his “own time” many hours per day can find this difficult to understand. A woman who has given birth also needs time to be comfortable in her new changed body too. Pregnancy, childbirth, possibly a big surgery aka C-section and breastfeeding can change woman’s body and feeling of her body as well as acceptance of it. The best way to overcome this is to be able to talk about it openly. This kind of things can be hard for a man to understand because he will never have to overcome such changes. Accepting this will be easier, if these issues and feelings are talked through.
Good luck women! In the long run this time with your babies and young children flies by! The code words for this phase of your life are mercy, acceptance, openness, honesty and geniality. In the middle of all this fuss you can still enjoy your life!