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Postpartum sex: how to find time for it?

Sep 11, 2019

What is the connection between the pelvic floor muscles, the condition of the abdominal and core muscles, and rewarding sex life? Weak core muscles and not feeling comfortable in your own skin can significantly impact how you feel about yourself. Unsurprisingly, not feeling at home in your own body affects your sexuality and how you feel about someone else touching your body.

The condition of the pelvic floor muscles and the deep abdominal muscles affect a person's sex life in many ways. The nerves may have been affected by an operation, scar tissue, or some other damage, and the sense of touch may have been affected. A lack of proper control in the pelvic floor area, or constant tension there, can affect how we feel. A continually tense pelvic floor area is like having a temporarily numb arm or leg: a numb limb or other body part is difficult to control.

 

While hormone levels are high during pregnancy and after childbirth, each woman is different.

Sex is not necessarily your favorite activity at that time. Some women blossom during pregnancy, while for others, it can be a relatively uncomfortable and unglamorous time. If this is the case, you should seek pleasure and happiness from other things that give you joy and positive energy. This is important because it makes you feel better about yourself and might even make you want sex again. Physical closeness without intercourse can also be pleasurable, so one thing does not necessarily need to lead to another.

Many women are nervous about sex after childbirth. For many, it feels like the first time all over again. Your body has changed, and also how you feel about it has changed. Some women say that after your genitals have "exploded" in childbirth, it is difficult to imagine what sex will feel like, if it will feel like anything at all, or if it will even hurt. It might help if you talk about things with your partner and tell them about your fears. Often, this alone may be enough to help you relax. Getting pleasure from sex can be difficult if your muscles are taut. Most women can only have an orgasm when they are fully relaxed.

 

Give it time, and be patient with yourself.

Finding relaxed moments can be challenging when you have a baby or small children. There is no room for spontaneity as sex needs to be scheduled in advance. This makes it difficult to enjoy the moment. I advise you to be gentle and honest to yourself and your partner in this new life situation. It is still essential to arrange time together and to feel good about yourself and your partner because relationships need work to remain strong and vibrant.

A further complicating factor is that the partners' needs can differ in families with small children. Because the baby often spends a lot of time in the mother's arms, she will likely feel the need for her own time and space. The partner might find this difficult to understand if they go to work, where they will have several hours of their "own time" daily. Women who have given birth will also need time to learn to love their changed bodies. Pregnancy, childbirth, possibly a significant operation (if a C-section is required), and breastfeeding are all big things that change a woman's body and body image. Sometimes these changes are not easy to accept. In this situation, too, it is best if you can talk about these things openly with your partner. However, it can be difficult for a man to understand changes of the sort that he will never experience firsthand. Talking about these things and your feelings makes understanding easier.

Be strong, Mom! Reasonableness, acceptance, openness, honesty, and gentleness are essential for enjoying life, even during hectic times. After all, your children will only be babies and toddlers for a short time.

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