What is the connection between the pelvic floor muscles, the condition of the abdominal and core muscles, and a rewarding sex life? Weak core muscles and not feeling comfortable with your own body can have a major impact on how you feel about yourself. Unsurprisingly, not feeling at home in your own body affects your sexuality, and how you feel about someone else touching your body.
The condition of the pelvic floor muscles and the deep abdominal muscles affect a person’s sex life in many ways. The nerves may have been affected by an operation, scar tissue, or some other damage, and also the sense of touch may have been affected. A lack of proper control in the pelvic floor area, or constant tension there, can affect how we feel. A continually tense pelvic floor area is like having a temporarily numb arm or leg: a numb limb or other body part is difficult to control.
Some women blossom during pregnancy, while for others it can be a fairly uncomfortable and unglamorous time. Sex is not necessarily your favourite activity at that time. If this is the case, then you should seek pleasure and happiness from other things that give you joy and positive energy. This is important, because it makes you feel better about yourself and might even make you want sex again. Physical closeness without intercourse can also be quite pleasurable, so one thing does not necessarily need to lead to another.
Many women are nervous about sex after childbirth. For many, it feels like the first time all over again. Your body has changed, and also how you feel about it has changed. Some women say that after your genitals have “exploded” in childbirth, it is difficult to imagine what sex will feel like, or if it will feel like anything at all, or if it will even hurt. It might help if you can talk about things with your partner and tell them about your fears. Often, this alone may be enough to help you relax. If your muscles are very tense, getting pleasure from sex can be difficult. Most women can only have an orgasm when they are fully relaxed.
Finding relaxed moments can be challenging when you have a baby or small children. When sex needs to be scheduled in advance, there is no room for spontaneity, making it difficult to enjoy the moment. My advice to you is to be gentle and honest to yourself and your partner in this new life situation. It is still important to arrange time together and to feel good about yourself and your partner, because relationships need work to remain strong and vibrant.
A further complicating factor is that the needs of the partners can be very different in families with small children. Because the baby often spends a lot of time in the mother’s arms, she is likely to feel the need for her own time and room. The spouse or partner might find this difficult to understand if they go to work, where they will have several hours of their “own time” every day. Women who have given birth will also need time to learn to love their changed body. Pregnancy, childbirth, possibly a major operation (if a C-section is needed), and breastfeeding are all big things that change a woman’s body and body image. Sometimes these changes are not easy to accept. In this situation too, it is best if you can talk about these things openly with your partner. However, it can be difficult for a man to understand changes of the sort that he will never experience firsthand. Talking about these things and your feelings makes understanding easier.
Be strong, moms! After all, your children will only be babies and toddlers for a very short time. Reasonableness, acceptance, openness, honesty, and gentleness are essential for enjoying life, even during the hectic times.